CRM

From:   Your [CRM] Crew Resource Management Dept.

To: All Flight Crew Personnel

It has been brought to the Chief Pilots attention that some individuals through out the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation in the Cockpit.
Due to complaints received from some pilots who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated.
We do however realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating in the Cockpit.
Therefore, a list of  « TRY SAYING » new phrases has been provided in the Operations Manual so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner without risk of offending our more sensitive pilots and to guarantee an exchange of ideas that will ensure a safe flight operation.

TRY SAYING:  I’m certain this isn’t feasible.              INSTEAD OF: No fucking way.

TRY SAYING: Really?                                                INSTEAD OF: You’ve got to be shitting me!

TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with Flt.Ops.        INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a shit.

TRY SAYING: I wasn’t involved in the project.              INSTEAD OF: It’s not my fucking problem.

TRY SAYING: That’s interesting.                                  INSTEAD OF: What the fuck do you know?

TRY SAYING:  I’m not sure this can be implemented.          INSTEAD OF: This shit won’t work.

TRY SAYING:  I’ll try to schedule that.                            INSTEAD OF: Why the hell didn’t you tell me sooner?

TRY SAYING: He’s not familiar with the procedures..           INSTEAD OF: He’s got his head up his ass.

TRY SAYING: Can you offer me some help, Capt.?         INSTEAD OF: Kiss my ass.

TRY SAYING: I’m a bit overloaded at the moment, Capt.     INSTEAD OF: Fuck It, You Captains make all of the money.

TRY SAYING: I don’t think you understand, Sir.                INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your ass.

TRY SAYING: I love a challenge.                                      INSTEAD OF: I’ll just do it my way,  Sir.

TRY SAYING: You want me to take care of that, Capt.?     INSTEAD OF: It’s your fucking job, not mine.

TRY SAYING: He’s somewhat insensitive.                      INSTEAD OF: He’s a Shit Head.

TRY SAYING: She’s an aggressive Flt. Attendant.         INSTEAD OF: Are you sleeping with that Bitch?

TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training.           INSTEAD OF: You don’t know what the fuck you’re doing.